Righttrack Whispers: You Can’t Help Your Face!

by Graham Proud

I was reminded of this phrase the other day with a delegate who possessed what I would call an open book approach to their facial expressions.

The phrase itself was the stock answer from my grandma whenever someone in the family complained about how they looked in a particular photograph.

This most recent reminder left me wondering:

When is the right time to 'Help your Face?'

If I was being particularly un-PC then I am sure many ladies of a certain age have previously asked themselves this question! However in the context I was asking I began to think of many potential situations:

When my boss asks – 'does that make sense?'
When a member of my team asks – 'do you agree with this decision?'
When my partner asks – 'how do I look?'

So what can your face or for that matter any other part of your body give away? The technical term is called 'leakage'. Not the nicest of terminology, however a perfect description.

The component parts of our face may say a great deal about what we may be thinking. Our eyes may show concern when flitting from side to side, or nerves when demonstrating the rabbit in the head lights look. Mouths may be pursed, slack or open wide in horror in various situations and our tone, pitch, volume, pace or delivery of our voices can let us down particularly in pressured situations like public speaking.

The difference in posture of someone who has just been reprimanded rather than praised often gives a clear indication of the situation before they even open their mouth to tell us all about it.

Hands too can be a big give away. Wringing them together whilst we speak may be read as being nervous or a little 'preacher like'.

Now luckily there are many poor readers of these body language clues and we may sometimes get away with stuff, however for those who are more proficient we do need to stop and think about a few things before entering into any potential difficult situations:

Lift you chin and prepare to make good eye contact

Roll your shoulders back a little – this will straighten your back and open up your diaphragm and
allow you to project well – in turn will make you sound more confident than you may be feeling

Use your hands to reinforce the same message your mouth is delivering – if you have 3 points to
make then count them off on your fingers, if you’re looking for an honest answer put one hand
close to your heart (you don’t need to ask for an ‘honest answer’ the gesture will say it all)

So on reflection, my grandma may well have been a wise woman when advising on how to interpret the most recent holiday pics, however I would need to challenge her in almost every other situation.

If you truly want to get on at work, convince others of your choices or just keep the various relationships in your life on track then 'Helping Your Face' is an absolute must.