Righttrack Whispers: Rapport is Power

by Phil Clarkson

Rapport is an incredibly important skill and one that we should all build on and use to help maximise the success of our working and personal relationships. The ability to get into and build rapport helps many aspects of business:

Sales
Customer service
Managing people
Building successful teams
Negotiating & influencing people’s decisions

Yet we spend very little time practising this skill.

What is rapport?

The dictionary tells us it's “harmony” or “agreement”; couldn’t we all do with a little more of that in our lives?

I believe rapport is an underestimated skill that can be natural instinct or adapted behaviour.

Sales people often practise their script and product knowledge however they don’t practise how to get into positive conversation with a potential customer.

Managers often practise how to use systems and procedures however struggle to get information from people in interviews or meetings.

The ability to get into rapport is so simple yet so powerful it amazes me!

In all my years in training & development, I have met people who are natural rapport builders. You know the ones who can talk to anybody about anything. I have also worked with people who have to try a little harder.

Rapport to me is all about commonality, a common thought, experience or behaviour that people share.

We all have the ability to get into rapport with people who are like us or are how we would like to be. However, how good are you at getting into rapport with people you don’t like or share any common background with apart from the fact you do business with them?

Rapport can be at 2 levels:

The 1st level is “We have something in common”
This is great when you meet someone and by, asking some key questions, establish a common experience:

“I am from Lancashire”, “Me too”= Instant rapport

“I have 2 children”, “I have 3” = Instant rapport

You get the idea!

However not everyone is lucky enough to be from Lancashire!

So how can we get into rapport if we have nothing about us that is the same?

The 2nd level is “We act or sound the same”
The best rapport builders can adapt their behaviour to mirror the person they are trying to get into rapport with. Excellent rapport builders have strategies to do this. I am not suggesting for one minute that if someone is screaming at you that you scream back! No! However, I strongly recommend you work on the following:

Body Language - the body sends lots of information, which is picked up by the subconscious mind. You need to work on your:

Positive mirrored posture
Appropriate eye contact
Proximity - not too close, not too far. Making sure you are both comfortable

Voice - if you meet a quietly spoken person who appears very thoughtful in answering your questions or a fast talking person, adapt your voice using:

Tone similar to theirs
Speed up or down to suit
Pitch the same
Vocabulary; use some of their key words

People will not suddenly say to you “wow you are in rapport with me”! However, they will say how much they like you or like talking to you. You will have more positive interactions with people and build a good reputation for yourself.

Go on try it today, see how many people you can get into rapport with.

The power is amazing!